Good Neighbors: An Overlooked Part of Aging in Place
Aging in place is often associated with making changes to the home—adding grab bars, setting up medication management systems, or hiring caregivers. These things are certainly important, but it can be easy to overlook what may be beneficial beyond a formal caregiving setup.
Someone can have a beautifully modified home and still be missing something important: connection to the community immediately around them.
In honor of National Good Neighbor Day, let’s consider something else worth doing—getting to know the people who live around you.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you have to become best friends or ask someone to start cutting your grass. Perhaps they already do kind things for you or your loved one. But simply knowing the people nearby can have more value than we sometimes realize.
Is Anyone Familiar With Your Routine?
If the person across the street knows that every morning around 8:00, you take the dog for a walk—that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Maybe they notice that you open your blinds every morning and close them every evening. Maybe your car has been sitting in the driveway for several days when it normally leaves once or twice a week to go to church, the grocery store, or an appointment. Maybe the trash cans always make their way back from the curb by the end of the day.
These are ordinary habits many of us have without giving them much thought. And sometimes, the people who live around us become familiar with those routines simply because they see them.
We tend to think of routines as insignificant because they are ordinary. But when something goes wrong, a change in an ordinary routine may be exactly what someone else notices.
So what happens when something changes?
Maybe someone notices something unusual and knocks on the door to check in. Great. Something else to consider is giving a trusted neighbor an emergency contact number and simply saying, “Hey, if something ever seems off, please call.”
Maybe the trash can never made it back from the curb this week—and that’s unusual. Maybe the dog didn’t get its morning walk. Having someone nearby who notices when something is different can be the kind of simple preparedness that makes a big difference.
Communities create a natural opportunity for someone to notice when something is off.
Who Is Nearby When Family Isn’t?
Family members can be incredibly involved and still not be physically close by.
An adult child may live ten minutes away but be at work during the day. Another could live several states away. Even someone who visits regularly isn’t going to see what is happening every day.
This doesn’t mean someone nearby needs to become another caregiver. It may simply be worth identifying a person who you or your loved one already knows and trusts.
Does that person have an emergency contact number? If something seemed unusual, would they know whom to call? If a family member couldn’t reach their loved one, is there someone nearby who could simply knock on the door if you gave them a call or text?
Of course, this doesn’t mean handing out private medical information to everyone on the street. It is about identifying a trusted person and considering what small amount of information could actually be useful if something unexpected happened.
Looking Out for Someone Isn’t the Same as Caregiving
Being a good neighbor doesn’t mean taking responsibility for someone else’s care.
It could mean helping bring in a package that was delivered. Checking in every once in a while. Calling after a bad storm to make sure everything is okay. Maybe it’s knocking on the door when a power outage hits the neighborhood or bringing the trash can back up the driveway.
These are small things, but they do create connection.
And that connection doesn’t only matter during an emergency. Knowing someone nearby, having the occasional driveway conversation, or simply exchanging a wave when getting the mail can be valuable on the normal days, too.
Looking Out for Each Other Goes Both Ways
Let’s also be realistic: we don’t always want to ask for help. And we certainly can’t make someone else care about us.
But there are benefits to having a good neighbor—and to being one.
When we talk about aging, it’s easy to automatically put the older adult in the position of receiving help. That’s not necessarily how a neighborhood works.
The 82-year-old neighbor you’re checking on might also be the person who notices that your garage door is still open across the street at midnight. They may grab your package when it starts raining or notice something odd at your house while you’re away.
Looking out for one another isn’t age-dependent.
Start With Hello
Not everyone knows the people living around them, and that’s okay. You don’t need to suddenly become best friends with the people living on either side of you.
Maybe it starts with introducing yourself. Exchanging a phone number with someone you already talk to. Checking in after a storm. Or taking an extra minute for the conversation at the mailbox instead of rushing back inside.
Aging in place doesn’t have to mean doing everything alone. So, in honor of National Good Neighbor Day, try starting with something simple: say hello, check in, or take an extra minute to talk to the person next door.
Here’s to having good neighbors—and being one, too.
Written by Kayla Fluder, PT, DPT, CAPS
“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
